The Consequences of Being a Woman

Yes, I am a woman, unfortunately. This means I have double the struggle in this male-dominated world. Though I have come to terms with my gender, there are many moments when I still prefer to be born a man. Don't get me wrong. It is not that I look down on women, it is just that I know how women fare in this world.

Physiologically, women are at a disadvantage and not just because we are physically weaker(due to less muscle mass). We seem to be naturally exposed to physical pain as we go through the life cycle of a woman. Budding breasts are not as painless as they look. Menstruation, which comes on a monthly basis by the way, has made a lot of us women miserable and made us feel uncomfortable and messy. Then comes the overrated first sexual experience which is more painful than pleasurable, especially if the man is a brute. And how about the nine months of pregnancy that makes us look fat and feel heavy? The pain of looking ugly can be as severe as the pain from the kicks of the baby. However, pregnancy is almost nothing compared to the agony of childbirth. The onset of menopause finally puts a cap on the entire female experience. For most Asian women, menopause is a much-awaited event since it means no more monthly period, no more sanitary napkins or tampons, no more dysmennorhea, and no more unwanted pregnancies. So, as anyone can see, just being a woman is enough to give you a headache.

Of course, it is not only from the physiological point of view that we women are at a disadvantage. Society has put a lot on pressure on us to be beautiful. Imagine this. Before we can leave our homes, we need to put on make-up, brassieres, stockings, well-coordinated clothes and accessories to be considered acceptable. Our hair should be in place, with the use of either a spraynet or hair accessories. We have to smell nice and look good all the time. Isn't the physiological aspect of being a woman burdensome enough?

As women, we are also victims of sex maniacs. The possibility of rape is a reality we need to accept as something that comes with the territory. Even if we don't get raped like some women, we get violated in other ways. We are usually the butt of sex jokes. Riding public transportation will occasionally give us the experience of a deliberate boob or butt graze in one of these rides. It is not unusual to receive sexual stares on our bosoms and rears. By the way, dressing conservatively doesn't necessarily mean we can escape inappropriate sexual behavior from men. Though men relish being the object of sexual desire and some women may actually like this form of attention from strangers, most of us women find it disgusting.

Aside from trying to stay beautiful and becoming sex objects in this world, we are burdened by yet another expectation. Even in this enlightened era, society expects us to have the lion's share of household chores, whether we are married or single. Whether we have a job or just stay at home, we need to do well as an all-around maid or else we are viewed as good-for-nothing individuals.

We are not only expected to perform well as a maid at home. We are also expected to perform well at work in this m0dern age. So one can just imagine how stressful life is for a working woman, especially the working mom. Ironically, performing well at work doesn't usually translate to earning more or getting promoted. Women, more often than not, do not have high-income occupations so performing well as a teacher, for example, will just make a woman a better teacher but not a better earner. On the other hand, most women who do have high-paying jobs are not paid as highly as their male counterparts.

I guess, people should not think ill of me if I prefer to be born a man instead of a woman. In my opinion, men are a lot better off in this world. They don't have big breasts that are hampered by bras. They don't have monthly bleeding that makes tampons and sanitary napkins a fixture in a woman's life. They don't need to put on make-up to look great. They don't have to worry about getting pregnant and seldom feel pain during sex. The only pain I know they experience is during circumcision, which may or may not happen depending on the culture. They don't do most of the household chores when women are around. If they become sex objects, they revel in it. And, they generally do the raping (gay or straight).

Oftentimes, I envy men for being so lucky. I wish they could share the normal female experience to make things even. But hey, why would they want to share a hellish experience anyway? The biological clock is not ticking for them and they have so much fun acting like rogues.

Well, I'm off to the store to buy a new set of sanitary napkins to complement my bloody week!

Women's Rights and Chivalry

As a woman, I thank God that I don't live in the Dark Ages when chastity belts were in vogue. I am grateful to those women who fought for women's rights so now I have the right to vote, the right to higher education, the right to be in the profession I prefer, etc., etc., etc..

However, with the onslaught of feminism/women's rights, chivalrous acts from the male species have declined. I can't say I blame men for being less of a gentleman. They are also confused about how to behave towards women, especially women from developed countries.

Though I enjoy the rights of women today and agree with some of these rights but not all of them(I am anti-abortion), I do miss some male assistance every now and then. I see less and less men offering their seats to women in buses today. The same goes with opening the door for women or helping women carry heavy items. Once, when my brother offered his seat to a pregnant woman inside a bus, someone yelled in derision,"Whoooo, boy scout!" as if it were such a bad thing to do. However, this same brother of mine often questions my plea for some male assistance when carrying heavy items and will usually rub in the women's rights issue--that men and women are equal(so carry your own damned things!).

I think the problem is how men and women interpret women's rights. For the hardcore feminists, the issue of women's rights means not only enjoying the rights and privileges given to men alone, but sometimes behaving like men. For example, if men can enjoy casual sex without being looked down upon by society, then women should also enjoy casual sex the same way. If men can be boxers, weightlifters and combat soldiers, so should women. If men can't be faithful to one partner, so should women. If men fix their own cars, do some carpentry and plumbing, carry heavy items, refuse doing household chores, so should women. The tendency of men, then, is to treat women like one of them. This usually means that women should not expect men to give them special treatment the way men used to do before the introduction of feminism.

It is no wonder that men are at a loss on how to behave towards women with this hardcore view on women's rights. Some men are rebuffed for trying to help women carry their things. Some women couldn't care less if men open doors for them or offer their seats to them. Some women do not appreciate men who refuse to argue with women. These chivalrous acts are seen as backwardness by some emancipated women.

Now why would I like to behave like men in areas where I think women should not dabble in? I believe women can do things men can do, but that does not necessarily mean, they should enter areas where women can be at a disadvantage. I also feel that women should not do things that are not second nature to them. You see, I maintain my personal belief that though all human beings are more often similar and should be treated with respect, men and women do have differences in their physical and psychological make-up.

I don't want women to be boxers. I don't think much of boxing as a sport anyway. Aside, from glorifying aggression, boxing is dangerous. Plus, it does not lend itself to women because women have bigger chests than men (and getting one's boobs hit is quite painful for women). Weightlifting creates unsightly bulges in women(even in men, for that matter). I like to see women with toned muscles but not to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Women doing combat is disturbing because I know that if they become prisoners of war, they can be raped and can get pregnant. Since women have monthly cycles, having menstruation during battle can be very uncomfortable. In addition, the aggression needed in war is not something I can accept as second nature to women. I just can't picture women in general as Rambo even if some can act like him.

My interpretation of women's rights is women being given the same rights and privileges accorded to men because they are human beings just like men. Women should be treated with respect and given dignity and not treated as second-class citizens. Women should matter in this male-dominated world. It does not imply following the loose sexual morality of men. It does not mean behaving and thinking like men. It does not mean denying the physiological attributes of women. It does not mean trivializing the traditional role of women(like what most men do).

Women give birth. Women are generally physically weaker than men and emotionally stronger than men as a rule. Women have bigger breasts and can produce breast milk. Women experience menstruation and menopause. Women can easily multi-task.

We should rejoice in being women and appreciate men who still want to act like boy scouts towards us. I don't see myself as the weaker sex when men give me special treatment for being a woman. I don't take offense when men are gentler towards me but brutal towards their fellow men. I do feel insulted when men look down on me for being a woman or when they see me as a sex object. It might look like I would like to have my cake and eat it too, but if this is so, I am not one to complain about it.

Yes, I really would like to enjoy the rights accorded to women today and still be given that special treatment by men for being a woman. What's wrong with that? I am tired of carrying all my heavy stuff without any assistance. I am tired of standing in a crowded bus or room. I am tired of figuring out the plumbing or taking out the trash. I am just plain tired!

So, to those chivalrous gentlemen out there, continue what you are doing, please. Though it is no longer the Dark Ages and women are not that chaste anymore, it wouldn't hurt to be extra nice to women. Some women are not that hardcore a feminist, especially here in the Philippines. Long live male chivalry in this world of partial gender equality!