Sunday, February 03, 2008

Pinoy Mail Order Brides (Part 2)

Lest I be accused of giving pinoy mail order brides a hard time, I am here to present the other side of the coin--the grooms of the pinoy mail order brides.
I have lambasted my fellow pinays for choosing the mail-order-bride route to get out of poverty. However, the mail order bride websites would not have made such a killing had there been a dearth of foreign men seeking filipino wives overseas. Come on, they are the ones who usually pay just to meet that "ideal" petite filipina who will be willing to serve them hand and foot.
I think a lot of foreign men from the First World think that most Asian women are subservient. I mean given the fact that First World women tend to know their rights more and generally fight for these rights and are more aggressive, Asian women can be seen as meek and gentle. Well, in a way, Asian women will seem so in comparison but in the Philippines, a lot of Filipinas have become streetsmart and have mastered the art of survival.
Now why would foreign men seek Filipino mail order brides in the first place? Some have told me that they were fed up with their countrywomen for being too materialistic and too rights-conscious. They wanted someone more malleable, less materialisic, and more loving. Okay, I can buy that! Who doesn't want someone like that? However, are Filipinas really less materialistic, more malleable, and more loving? It depends.
I hear a lot of complaints from foreign men that they've been had by their Filipino mail order brides. They said these women just loved their money and the chance to get a green card (for brides of US citizens) or the chance to travel abroad, etc. etc..... Hey, do they think for one minute that an 18-yr-old Filipina will fall in love with a 40-60 something gent? Who are they kidding? Deep inside, they should know that someone so young must be looking for something else, especially if they think that they are such a good catch because of their foreign currency!
And I also question the motives of some of these men. Do they really want to rescue a Filipina from poverty? Or do they want someone they can use as a servant at home? Maybe, if they are that old, they are also seeking a would-be caregiver. I heard that some men have used their Filipina brides as punching bags. This goes for other asian mail order brides as well.
Please don't give me the reason of finding true love. I am too much of a cynic to believe that. Not that it couldn't happen, but in this fallen world, we love someone for a reason. It may be the looks, the financial success, the power, the potential, or the glory. But we love conditionally. Even I am guilty of this.
I guess, both parties deserve what they get. If, on the other hand, one of the parties was truly and desperately seeking true love but got duped in the process, then I can only state that all is not fair in love and war. We do get our fair share of bad experiences. Unfortunately, we can never tell if a relationship will be good for us unless we tried it. It is really a big gamble. We can only minimize the damage by crossing out unfavorable circumstances. I think, one of these unfavorable circumstances is ordering brides abroad.

1 comment:

Yuri said...

I agree with the point. Marriage always starts in a relationship. No one can fall inlove truthfully with just a first meeting like an interview without dating for real.If they say they do, it is always attach with a benefit that they can get. Foreigners also get the benefit out of it because their wives serve and take care of them and partially as a caregiver when they get older. It is a give and take. sexy hot pinays